I claim that I will post
but don’t. So I’ll just go back to posting about random shit that happens in my
life. That used to be fun. And it used to make a lot of sense as it actually
showcased the real me.
SO. Let’s get started.
We kick off with last night’s
madness and why I ended up rocking up to work late stuck in traffic? Lol.
Yes that works.
I have this friend who I
usually get up to a lot of madness with. If I let her have her way with me… and
I have become adept at NOT letting her have her way with me. Particularly on
week days… it just doesn’t end well… and I’ve become a cucu who likes to sleep.
Yes. I have. In order to get in so much work I need to get so many hours of
sleep.
Thanks Tina Fey.
She took the words right
out of my fingers :D
Yesterday however, I FAILED.
YES. FAILED. I shall explain.
I go to the gym (Because
again I am less fit than I used to be in my early twenties) and let the gym
instructor have his way with me. Because Shaddo (that’s his nickname) cares about
me. And because I want to go back to the old toned me. I believe it’s possible.
I have seen it happen with the most strange people who had no hope. And no, I don’t
mean that dude who lost a LOT of weight because his girlfriend dumped him… and
ended up looking super sexy but still disturbing because seriously what kind of
man loses like 30kgs when he was the one cheating in the first place?!
I digress a lot. Get
used to it. I wrote a post before where I mentioned Biko told me I can digress
as much as I want to because Oyunga told him the same thing. We are creative.
Take us as we are (shamelessly comparing myself to the greats- I’m speaking with
faith into my writing- if you’re a critic please go away…).
Nehooot after the gym
which then meant I had happy endorphins floating within me and out of me I
holad at my good friend D’. Called her up and said ‘sup boo’. She was currently
sitting at home in the dark courtesy of our dear friend KPLC (Kenya Potential
Lighting Company – since it’s been privatized). Talked for a while as I was
driving down Waiyaki Way and she said “pop by, I have some wine”. I am pretty
gullible and easy to derail when you mention wine so I was like “only if you
serenade me by candlelight”.
So I go over and she’s
lit these two massive wax candles you can buy in any kiosk in Nairobi. No tea
lights for me. I’m not that special *frown* but she did have a huge bottle of
merlot *grin*. We sit, sip and bond. Then it ishas. Down to the last drop. 2
glasses of red grape goodness.
She comes up with a
solution.
ONE LAST ONE!
At that new hotel down the road!
I’m like noooooo…. I
have work in the morning. She cajoles, threatens, begs, pleads. I say no and
stand my ground like a matador. She charges! I side step. She promises ONE
GLASS (Kenyans all know there is no such thing as ONE GLASS) I tell her I have
no coin. She says she never mentioned me spending money. She’s saying all the
right things but I don’t trust her. She has that look in her eye. That gleam of
insincerity that makes me believe this night will not end well if I leave with
her. I’m too old young to not enjoy 8 solid hours of rest before work.
She speaks the magic
words, “I’ll drive my own car”. This sounds like a good solution. If she drives
and decides to derail me I can run away, hop into my car and go home like a
good girl. Sounds good.
I agree. Life is too
short to be spent fighting what seems like a winning cause and there was WINE
involved…
I want to see what this
hotel cum serviced apartment cum restaurant with a heated pool has to offer.
I walk in after her once we get there and
see decadence. I kid. It’s ok really… I ask the girl at the reception “Who owns
this place? Chinese people?” she says no, “Kikuyus”. I’m not surprised really.
Our *cough* taste is well known.
I wonder what the menu
has to offer. I took a picture of the menu but Black berry’s tend to have
really shit cameras so I’ll just tell you they spelt Liqueurs “Liquerers”. And
misspelt much much more.
We order two glasses of
the Drostdhof or Drostd HOF. This guy couldn’t make up his mind so for the red
we have the former, for the white the latter. I can see why he was confused…
We imbibe with glee and
await our “chef’s special salad”. That took a lifetime coming but was mighty
scrumptious…
A random dude asks to
join us. His accent screams South African. He mentions his friend would also
like to join us as he takes a seat. His
friend is Tanzanian. We have general good times and make merry as we discuss
politics here and everywhere… and working on rigs that are owned by Chinese
people.
Before I realize it, it’s
already 1 am. How did that happen? My friend’s ONE GLASS of wine happened.
These young bucks joined us at 12:30… I got home at 2 am. I feel like HELL and
had even more HELL nightmares where I spoke in that horrible patois with a Brit
accent and I promised some yardie white boy (doesn’t make any sense) that I’d
FIX him. And that we could do it during break time (was I in school?!) coz it wouldn’t
take more than 10 minutes to pound him to a pulp.
No more drinking OUTSIDE
of her house on a week day.
That is the moral of
this story.
If ever there was one.
