Negativity

Day one of blogging

Listening to Michael W. Smith. Because I can hear the Quran has started up again loudly. Because I have to drown it out. Because I feel like I’m cheating when I don’t focus as much on my JC. Because I watch the Muslims in this office praying every lunchtime and remember that I too am supposed to do my part. The obeisance, the piety… it all rings closely to home. It inspires me. It makes me say a little prayer. It makes me remember that there is more to life and just as there is more there is even less. That we need to be committed to living for God. That surely goodness and mercies shall follow me all the days of my life as long as I focus on God.

I have only recently noticed how negative I can be. In a mocking fashion that’s designed to make it less impactful on society; dulling the harshness of the words or the sharp tang on my tongue as I roll out the words. Your tongue is a double edged sword.

 

I am now TRYING to be more positive. Keeping in line with my own motto “If you have nothing good to say, say nothing at all”. It stems from this exercise I read about where you and your partner keep a score board of the positive and negative things you say to one another. I tried it out in my head. I’ve been trying it out subconsciously with people around me and every time I find myself about to say something negative I pause in shock. And I try to justify in my head why I should say the mean thing that’s on the tip of my tongue. Then I either affirm the person I’m talking to or I just stfu. And sit down. Because you should sit down when you’re being punished for your sin. Perverse logic I know. But it takes the bite out of looking at yourself in a negative light because that’s what it forces you to do.

We need people who we are accountable to.

  This cartoon is awkward...

I have found the strangest person to do it with. How to be friends 101 needs to be taught to me again. It’s quite interesting when you click with someone you had absolutely nothing in common with.  Or maybe you do have something in common *shrug*. Friends with someone who you aren’t afraid will judge you for all your quirks… 

Then you wonder if you judge them for theirs and your brain turns to mush.