R/ships & trust

Be careful what you type, it might come back to bite you in the ras...

I read something interesting possibly last nite/early this morning while taking a break from my tossing & turning: "Live in such a way that you wouldn't be afraid to sell your parrot to the village gossip". Me?! Why would I want to do that? Then I really thought about it...

I'm a very private person. When my friend suggested getting my post on Africa out into the interwebs I froze.

"AAAAAH!" *bloodcurdling scream*

I don't want people to read my work & judge me. Or do I? Remember the post about how I'd like to write under a pseudonym? LOL! I have problems. Then I read something else about leaving ur cell phone with ur S/O for a whole day. Now usually that wouldn't be a problem but... am I going anal with age? As the years go by I become more entrenched in my ways and more possessive of what I consider to be mine. And no this isn't an excuse. I'm pretty sure I have nothing to hide. If u find something then... why were u looking in the first place (please note I'm not some kind of saint that adheres to this same rule)...

I'm really trying to get over the younger sibling 'borrowing' syndrome (we're about the same size top wise and shoe wise). I go insane trying to find something because I know exactly where I left it but it's GONE. Just like THAT! *snaps fingers* Then later I see her hiding it so that she can launder it and casually leave it where it was. That must be some kind of psychological mind f*ck... We're now trying to deal with the whole 'asking' process. When she asks I'm so tempted to say no but I'm growing out of it...

God provides. lol.

It's MINE THO!!! Am I the only person with possession issues?

*strolls away whistling*

#NP Feel it in my bones - Dj Tiesto

Untitled (poetry from my ~Lynx~)

By Ladynapptural:

I don’t cry much,

when I do though

I let the page catch my tears

that’s when you’ll see me

soft words leave heavy foot prints

endless indentations on your mind

braille for your eyes to touch

that’s when you’ll feel me

if you were to taste this page

you would indulge in me

raw and unsweetned,

untainted and pure

words can be flavorless

till the right spices are used

that’s when you’ll taste me

sometimes I can’t speak

but my words speak for me

when I have no voice

that’s when you’ll feel me

unmistakable in scent

pungent in its aroma

my words reek of this pleasant odor

that’s when you’ll smell me

some are conscience,

but not awake…

and will never know what

these words manifest

Jamaican Christmas Letter to Santa...

This post below from likkle Keisha? #iDie!!!

Dear Santa,

I know you probly wondering why I writing yuh one day after Christmas but after opening mi presents dem yesterday, I just had to write yuh.

Santa, mi was a very good girl all year round. Mi listen to mi mummy when she talk to mi and ah help out wid di chores dem round di house. Ah even help di neighba pickney dem do fi dem chores tuh. One day mi all help out di old crosses Mr. George, the blind an cripple one, cross the road when di odda children dem just ah watch him an ah tek gamble pon what kind of cyar did ah go lick him dung.

Santa, dem just lef him deh fi dead,but mi help him out.

Santa ah studied real hard in school this year, so hard till mi all come fuss inna di class. Ah make it mi duty to be nice and not naughty Santa, mi was so good. Ah real good girl Santa.

Santa when ah write mi Christmas list to yuh dis year, ah ask yuh fi a Barbie princess doll, ah Barbie kitchen, ah Dora the Explorer computer game, a cyabbage patch doll and ah monopoly game.

So Santa, how the bloodclaat after reading mi list yuh leave under di Christmass tree ah raasclaawt light up yo-yo , one plastic tea-cup set and ah bumboclaawt no name dolly dat look like she have polio and ah dead from AIDS?

Santa is either yuh blind or yuh cyah blood claat read!!! Every year ah say ah would stop believing in yuh and like ah dyam fool mi always give yuh ah next chance, but not ah phukking-gain, yuh hear mi Santa? Not a bloodclaat. Yuh hear what ah say Santa? Yuh jaazzyass fat red rass yuh.

Yuh see all nex year, yuh betta dont try squeeze yuh big fat batty

thru mi louvres dem, because Santa ah swear ah going phukk yuh up. It going to be me, you and dissharp blood claat knife, so mi can jukk

yuh inna yuh belly. Yuh hear mi sah? Mi ah go stab up yuh Bloodcaat.

Imagine, yuh give that likkle cock eye gyal Sally from cross di road

everything that she ax fah. So much so dat she all nuh have nuh room fi walk round she house.

Yuh see all nex year Santa, ah will be back to mi good old self.

Dat's right Santa. Ah not going give mummy nuh trouble or cause nuh

havoc roun'ere . And Santa, a goin wait pon you patiently ....ah

goin wait pon yuh paitently with ah big blood claat rock stone fi

yuh b ackside. And den when you and them blasted reindeer dat favour some dyam

oversize goat wid tree branch ah grow otta dem head top, com ho-ho

hoing down pon i old rusty zinc nex Chirstmas.....BOOP!!!!! Is one

rass lick inna yuh blood claat head.

Santa ah going done yuh blood claat, Memba dat yuh hear Santa. Try

Memba dat!!

Love

Likkle Keisha

Superhero

SUPERHERO!!!
The song I found by Miguel that I absolutely love. I don't like mushy music much anymore. Even less mushy movies. They do things to my heart strings I'm not willing to deal with. Take for instance yesterday... (in line with all things mushy)... I found a card from an old flame wishing me a Happy Birthday. He signed off, 'Your Snowman'. Then the memories came crashing back. *runs away trying to swat them away* Too late.

I am an emotional person. I try to fight it... dating a non-emotional man who is really very loving and caring. It's a catch 22. Alone, we can... *barfs*

That's not the point of this post.

*long deviated pause where I went for an impromptu meeting with one of my partners...*

I forget what the point of the post was but I've decided that since this is MY blog, I'm going to try & be more open.

I have pet peeves. Yes! That's part of where this was going *scratches head*

1. The NERVE of Kenyan drivers! Why do u take a corner on MY lane? Are u insane? Then I have to screech to a stop & pray u don't catch my bumper! At which rate you'd prolly take off anyway. SMH

2. I don't like paper that's misfolded (I'm pretty sure I just made up that word). Like... This isn't origami foo!!! I found a picture of the paper monster...

It apparently doesn't want to load :(

I'm running out of steam here because I'm meant to be working on a proposal so bye for now. Lol. WAIT! One last thing...

I really like the paper they use for UP Magazine (random but feel it! Do u know how expensive it is to publish on good paper?). UP is code for Urban Perspective. Link here. They also have really interesting articles, photos & cater solely to Nairobi. Clap for yourselves you fine writers. & it's owned/run by the Mondeas. The c0-owner, Rand Pearson, is a really cool chap I met several years ago at a launch held by Nation. Many years of experience in the business.

I wish I could stalk his brain.

Education

I recently tried my hand at writing short stories. OR maybe I should be honest and say that I sent a well known author colleague of mine a short story I once wrote and hoped for the best *wringing fingers*. She gave me a couple of thumbs up *looking pleased* then proceeded to tell me how to make my piece better. Now as much as I appreciated her advice, I’m still a lazy procrastinator. I feel like it’d make me think I’m back in Brookie with Mrs Madahana telling me how to make my coursework better. *barf*

Her advice helped, I got my A (insert braggart’s swelling head here) but I could never shake off the feeling I had more to learn. I then tried to take English as a course in my undergrad and that’s where things got messy. Apparently I knew NOTHING. What the effin heck?! I think criticism when constructive is welcome but the whole thought of not KNOWING anything when all through school you’ve been given accolades? The HORROR. It’s like you’ve been living a lie your entire life. I don’t mean to be mean (pun?) but maybe I was being measured against idiots and I thought I was a modern day English idiot savant. CLEARLY NOT. I put things where they weren’t supposed to be, my work was ripped to shreds and I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I was VERY glad when that class ended.

Which brings me to my main topic: Learning. For what its worth I love to learn. My school habits tell a simple enough story. Maybe I should quit school for a while though. There’s a saying that going to school kills your creativity. Can it really stump out your creativity though? Besides being told how to make something better? I always envied those people who did multidisciplinary degrees and had their choice of courses to take across a broad spectrum of faculties. Where was I going with this? Oh yes,

Yesterday I was taught “how to play pool” or “Pool 101” for lack of a better catch phrase. There are apparently all these points on a white ball that dictate where the ball will end up after u take your shot. I learnt how to do a stop shot (there’s a really helpful old man to teach u how if you click on the link) and a drawback shot and a whole bunch of other things that I can’t remember due to the vodka haze I was under. Did it enrich my game? Yes it did. Will I leave my day time job just yet? Not quite. I need money to pay for my latest addiction right?

In other grateful news, it’s FEBRUARY!! I’ve been losing weight so I’ll treat myself to a cheese burger and fries for lunch. Yay!

That time of the month...

'Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination’ – Oscar wilde.

I'm broke again *sigh*

Well not really but still. I have this annoying habit. When I check my account balance halfway thru the month and it still looks healthy (because I've been frugal the first two weeks anticipating, wait for it, the end of the month...) I tend to splurge. According to someone close, I splurge on my friends tho one of them would beg to differ... that's ok though. We don't kick it that much so she wouldn't know the difference. Lol. Where was I? Oh yes, splurging. And it's always on booze, booze in a different city or booze in a different bar. Always booze. *sigh* I told myself to leave my debit card at home but it's soo tempting to just go SWIPE that bad boy and take out that mulah baby! Since it's mine right?! RIGHT !? Then why does it deplete so quickly!? DAMN U MONEY! Manage urself better! (passing the buck tastes oh so sweet!)

I wanna know what Wilde was on when he used this quote " Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination ".

I used to be hella sexy starved looking when I did the above tho. Maybe I should put all my money into my savings and go down the same route. I'll still be sexily starved doe eyed (we can hope) babe but have money! WIN WIN! He he he.

Thot for the day:

It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
C. S. Lewis

What am I listening to right now? Tight Rope by Janelle.Apt don't u think? Tightrope between being broke and rich :D

Lost in translation much?

Anyone who knows me, maybe not so intimately but knows me somewhat, knows I love to travel. In the past 6 months I have travelled in and around the Rift Valley province county, Central province (there goes that word again, HABIT) county and parts of Eastern. If you stretch your memory or mine as far back as last December, I made serious rounds with the fam & my other fam aka my friends. Gotta love em all. I’ve attached a map that shows in a nut shell areas traversed. I really doubt I’ll make it to Lodwar or Garissa this year but I really want to make it to Lamu. Every year since I came home 3 years ago I’ve been planning on it and not managing to make the trip *sigh*. Maybe we should really book that pad now…

I would also love to travel to Lagos this December. Dunno how that’s gonna work out due to several factors but where there’s a will? Lol.

Leaving the city brings to mind two things (because there is always a yin and a yang): push and pull factors. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Leaving could mean you’re running away from something. Or alternatively running TO something. I believe I run to piece of mind. My mother asked me two weekends ago if I was running to someone. Which was funny since she knows I love to just bounce! (do people still say that?!), her sarcasm (since I mentioned it while already on the road) and that uncanny feeling that there might be a man involved since two weeks before that I was in Nakuru again. This time it was a cleansing trip for a friend (she really needed to get away, or maybe that was me who believes everything’s always better when you view it from afar- like two hours away or more far). The last road trip before that was coerced (the rents) since taking my cucu to shags for a harambee doesn’t count. (who knew they still do harambees?!)

Leaving the city enables me to purge myself of random thoughts, niggling doubts, badassness and remember who I am. I think. I don’t like the missing church on Sunday tip but getting on the road always makes me feel cleansed emotionally and spiritually. I feel closer to God even. Nairobi has a lot of things clamouring for my attention. My family, friends, work, school… social life? If I’m really sneaky on a road trip I can even read an entire book without having to make it into a club :D

Where am I going with this you might ask? Nowhere really. I’m just reminiscing on how cool it is to feel the wind blowing thru ur tough as nails African hair, listening to well, literally the sound of nature (since my car stereo was jacked) or bonding with my peoples, doing fun stuff like going into the gorge at Hell’s Gate and traversing the entire thing, biking (which you don’t do in Nai), eating food from random places praying you don’t get ill, checking out how other people live in their towns… going to see people like Robbie who gets so happy when we go to see him since it’s almost like we haven’t forgotten him, that chap living on the outskirts of maisha. If ur not living in Nairobi… most people forget ur living at all.

Thank God for travel J