Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Writing


In the last few months/weeks I’ve become so “well read”. On the interwebs of course- doing the whole web 2.0 thing. It’s easy enough when you’re interested. For instance, I’ve discovered there’s no actual definition out there for digital marketing. I know because I’ve searched (maybe not hard enough but if Google can fail me, who/what else can I turn to?!)

I’ve read up on search engine optimization and have a fairly moderate understanding of the same.
I’ve also been reading up on doing a cleanse as I apparently need one. What the hell is a cleanse anyway? Well, I discovered the perfect site to help-  now all I need to do is start… *begins procrastination 101 again).
I have read a lot of blog posts by Biko Zulu and laughed outrageously, had the hint of a tear at some… and felt genuine love and affection for people I’ve never met in others. I have itched to write again and this is what I’m going to do… a short story based on a true story. Or base this on Viva Riva? HAHAHAHAHA! Still can’t buh-live @thesapientone hasn’t watched it yet. That movie alone deserves it's own post...

I digress

Well here goes:
I believe the h.r woman has been ravishing the boss in her office past working hours. Every day I sit and watch them laugh on an hourly rotation and her giggle passionately, pushing up her not so ample bosom as he tries to stare it down like a matador waiting for the bull’s attack, or like a dog watching the bone being waved at it from side to side wondering how to get at it before it’s thrown and diminish the LONGING nay yearning it has for that bone.

Sometimes it looks like the tango when they’re together, dancing suggestively around each other on their way from the kitchen when at other times it looks like a rap game in the boardroom with them trading bitter barbs… all to hide the inner lust they have for one another. Like Kenyan politicians pretending to have beef yet behind closed doors they break bread or ugali and laugh at our folly.

I imagine being the fly on the wall watching them accomplish the feat. He, the “main guy” who yells in the “iwillflareyourskinoffyourbodyfornotmeetingyourtargets” tone while she usually pretends to simper in a coy manner. I’m on to them though. I’m sure he’s the submissive, tie me to your coat rail, gag me and punish me for my misdemeanors kinda guy while she flicks her whip (I’m sure it’s right there with all our employee files) and makes him lick her boots.

Because there’s no other reason for me to think anything else or less. Because this office bores me. Because they probably go home every day and have what I’d term platonic sex with their significant others in the same position every day.

Or maybe it’s because I day dream of doing the same thing to him every day. Every time he walks past I stare at his ass in those super tight pants and imagine the things I would do to him given the chance because he’s the boss. 
Look at that, they just did it again! 
He just turned and tried to show off his rippling abs through his YSL shirt! I know because I’ve sniffed his shirt, his tie and sat on his chair wondering how it would feel to have his head between my legs as I conduct short meetings…

But he doesn’t even know I’m there because I’m just the hired help who cleans his office every time he goes home to his wife at night and I’m left to fantasize…

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

LIKE THE TERMINATOR!!!!!

                                                
Hmmm...
I haven't blogged in dogs years! It's almost been a year...and I'm only on here because someone sent me a link to a friend's blog that despite his best intentions only had ONE post! I'd link to it but seriously even that one post was only 2 lines long decrying the sad state of affairs they found when they moved to Kwale for research work...


I'm now going to talk about the current state of affairs I find myself in- I ended up SOARING like that eagle for a few months. Then came crashing back down to earth like HOW ON EARTH WILL I SURVIVE WITH NO COINS?! 



I was HORRIFIED! DISTURBED! PERTURBED! to say the least. Yes, u must understand... I don't know how to be that guy with no coin.


I was tempted to tell my man...
 Severely tempted :D 


But I'm not that kinda girl. I went down on my bended KNEE and PRAYED to the ALMIGHTY! (doesn't that sound like a rap of sorts? or rhyme... I'll settle for rhyme). And shortly thereafter (aka the very same nite coz I had a serious heart-to-heart with the big guy) I got a job. Like the very next day I went for an interview and got the job.


It might not be what I expected but God gives u what u ask for. I was more worried about not having any money and He was more interested in giving me what He knows is best for me.


Us fickle humans...





It's really strange what comes up when u type in fickle humans to the images section of google...


Brad Pitt can GERRIT! ALL OF IT! 



He came up in the pictures (something about women being fickle. I heard he's chafu tho. He can still gerrit tho. ALL OF IT! Bahaha)


So that's it for now my dears! Arriverderci


Thanks for visiting and for all your patience!








Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Secrets

“Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”


Was just thinking about what happens when you tell someone something you know you shouldn't. Then you say "Don't TELL anyone". Even though you KNOW they are now just ITCHING with it. Positively about to break out into hives. 

                                                                   “Of course I can keep secrets. It's the people I tell them to that can't keep them.”
On the topic of letting things go *ponders*... you really shouldn't get upset when you tell someone something you shouldn't that has been told to you by someone who really shouldn't have told you either in the first place. You get me? Like if I tell A that B told me 1,2,3 then I shouldn't get upset if A tells C or goes straight back to B and shares that information... because I had no right to share in the first place did I? This is all hypothetical people. I'm as trustworthy as a church mouse.  




"The Secret is the law of attraction (LOA)". Remember the book? I was so disappointed when I read that. I mean, that's IT!? You almost made me pay for a book to tell me THAT!? *smacks forehead*


Just seen the resident coke head... I mean, errr, I was watching errrm something on coke heads...
OH YES! Secrets... The Secret Powers of Time by RSA Animate is the absolute BEST link I've found so far when I you tubed 'secret'. I've watched it before so enjoy... it's a tad profound.


I also ended up watching Aries Spears comedies & therein draws to a close my working day. I have cheetos to eat as I watch and well... as for your secrets...


*puts hands infront of self and takes off screaming*


Keep your bloody secrets!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Change

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance ~ Harrison Ford in some movie or the other. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." - St. Francis of Assisi (personal favorite)


Here's a picture...




It's bigger than I thought it would be. Lol. At least this proves my new improved blogger works. Thank GOD! I was tired of being a blog slut moving from one to the next...


I gave in my notice today. Not that I really had an option in the matter but I feel more empowered to say that I did it. Which means I have 10 more days to work and then ... *attempts to* soars! Like an eagle.


<- that's supposed to be an eagle soaring. I'm sure you get the point.


HOLIDAY COMING UP!!!!




Home time so we can continue this post. 
Believe me, it was going somewhere...

Thursday, September 15, 2011

my new look blog...

YEAAAAH! New look blog with fancy things going on in the compose section! I hope this means pics won't give me grief like it did with the old format :-/ Baaaah!

Anyway, the washing machines symbolize my recycling old posts I have (or had depending on how u look at it). I have a tendency of typing stuff on my phone then saving & eventually emailing it to myself so it rarely makes it to the blog on time. I'm not too sure what's going on in the last washing machine tho... Close inspection tho reveals I have an overly imaginative brain.

Thanks for bearing with me blog.

Kisses!

L

Emotions & Bubbles

I have the BEST boyfriend ever :-) He bought me 'Dance with Dragons', the book I blogged about here. It's HUGE! Can't wait to get home & keep reading it. *drool*

On that note:

I realized that I really internalize my emotions. I'd prefer to read a book than discuss what's really going on in my life... I think my boyfriend gets the brunt of it (when they surface)...

In the last four days I've had four of my friends come up to me and share really...traumatizing? Distressing I guess stories that revolve around different facets of their lives. And each time I'm bereft. I used to take on peoples burdens but now not so much. I'm too used to getting into it, like it's my personal life story but I'm no longer that guy. Now I watch detached & listen, hug & wonder if it's pertinent to throw in my two cents. Not everyone wants ur advice I've learnt.

So I decided to write this... (I don't think I finished tho to be honest. It's all about bubbles)

I don't know if we're immune to pain or if people are simply undergoing way too much in their lives to get caught up in others. Somewhere along the way we've lost our sense of community and connectivity.

I live in a bubble. Whether it's a hermetically sealed hypoallergenic one or not- I still live in one. Case in point- *ducks rotten tomatoes* I have no idea where the gas fire that occurred yesterday was. I know it's around Nairobi but I've never heard of the place before let alone knew about the article that was written about how dangerous it was for ordinary Kenyans to live there.
I know I'm affected by the fire because these are my fellow Kenyans but... remember my bubble? I'm waiting for a sign from God to realize how it has impacted me besides writing this blog.
I didn't lose any family members during post election violence in '07 and early '08 which I'm eternally grateful for but this again makes me believe even more strongly in my littu bubble.
I live and work within 15mins drive, shop, club etc within the same 15mins. The furthest I might have to go is church on Sunday which pushes it to about 1/2 an hour if there's no traffic.
I never travel to unsavory parts of Nairobi and very rarely go to town. I'm falling into the category of spoilt princess when my salary doesn't justify my living... If I was politely excused from my home today I'd find myself living closer to these so called unsavory places where I can get the mama mboga to chop my spinach for me and I can live within crawling distance of a matatu to take me to town/home based on how intoxicated I am. I wonder if I'd still retain the same friends *pause*

Someone asked @alykhansatchu 'what's the mood like in Nairobi after the tragic fire (ad-libbed kiasi)' and I automatically thot, meh... I think we're ok.
I doubt if it's because of my sole circumstances that make me believe this but I've witnessed Kenyans shrug off disasters like a chick tosses back her hair after the wind blows it in her face.

I wrote that on the 12th when the fire happened. Now, it’s almost like it never happened. OR maybe I just live in a bubble.