Crushing...

Men always want to be a woman's first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things. What (women) like is to be a man's last romance.

Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

It's unfortunate but most of my blog posts are about the relationships I'm in, have cultivated or in the process of cultivating. I assume (when I read some blogs that make u think) that at times it means I'm not as deep as I should be... but this is my form of catharsis so let me stop hating and just accept it.

In the past weekend alone, I've run into two of my high school crushes. People I haven't seen SINCE I was in high school. One I'd kept in touch with- even elevated to best bud' status for an age while the other was ... hmm... just one of those people u crush on I guess? They are both still fine eligible bachelors ;)

"Constant communication for a bit in uni" crush apparently wants to be with me. He wants us to do the unthinkable. Has given me timelines, guidelines and many other such things to work with in a quest to make me believe we're meant to be together forever. I'm more cynical and realistic. His inability to see things through makes me want to run off screaming. I have this depraved solution to the current challenge that is him. My spiritual (father) shepherd/ guide at some point told me to test men. The man I was currently seeing. Any man who chose to come after... Random# One of Common's tracks (faithful is it?) talks about tests (not HIV... ). How men are dogs? The jam about if god was a woman...

Couldn't be out getting bogus with someone so godly... Even if they don't try some ladies test men, and this was a test that was bigger than him'...

His test is cruelly simple. When someone tells u ur meant to be together forever, u have to test the boundaries of their so called "faith" in such extreme beliefs. Beliefs that they've held for apparently the last 8 years. I'm always a 'more action, less talk kinda girl' so let's see how this pans out. Especially since I was given a week to end things with my current 'lover/ man'. Funny. I don't take orders really well but I figured since I was done anyway I might as well end things before more time was wasted. Time is that one resource you can NEVER get back. So having moved on swiftly....

I mention it to one of my closest girlfriends and she proceeds to ask if I'd now be interested in her cousin if he styled up.... stepped up to the plate.

What is it about 'u snooze u loose' that people don't quite grasp?!

Let's see how this plays out.

More later. Ciao, adios, hasta luego and all that jazz.